I have now not run since the Monday after Eagle Creek Marathon unless you count the too-soon test run of my hip I did a couple of weeks ago with high hopes which were then dashed and I was sent three steps back into having trouble just walking, doing my PT exercises and getting on and off the bus. I felt so frustrated and angry at my body.
I felt like yelling at it "Why won't you just stop hurting, calm down and let me do what I want to do???" My body's response was a continued ache and fatigue that lasted for three days. I ached to run. I watched the cool mornings pass by without me, lovely nights where I could have dashed a bit by headlamp or some bright enough without, hazy trail running......it just started to get me down.
I was down on my body, down on my age, down on my training and how if I had done something differently maybe this wouldn't have happened and I could be well on my way to getting my training in the bag for Flatrock.
I have decided I am definitely going to Flatrock. I am not getting any younger and opportunities like this don't come around for me very often. I will go either as a cheering squad for my friends, perhaps help crew a little, offer support or I will see how well I am by then to do the 25K. If I feel like trying for the 50K I will make sure my hip is in total agreement that this is a decent deal and no harm will be done if I take it slowly, I will bring a headlamp so I can run through the dark if I need to and if I am not going well enough to continue can always drop down mid-race.
I know there are going to be loving, concerned friends out there who will say this is stupid. But if I am okay with all three options then there is no reason to skip the party entirely. I can still go to Kansas, be part of a cool event, maybe even pick up a volunteer job if I truly can't run at all and maybe see if I am up to trying for it. So this may be a very weird kind of training----mostly depending on Eagle Creek to bolster up my self-esteem since I finished that recently and it went well even through all the problems I had. I may do more cross-training, run as I can and if I feel well enough try to fit in maybe one pretty long run before it's time to chill before the race.
I promise all who love and care for me I will listen to my body. My physical therapist told me that today. She said most important was to "listen to your body". It will tell me what path to take if I just turn off that nagging voice that says "go..go...go....go...go..." and just repeat "rest...be still.....do as I can...listen to what I most need to hear....take the path of least resistance."
Also in the meantime I have classes to teach, clients to train, things to do to keep me busy. I do miss my running friends and having fun at group runs but I know if I am patient I will be back there soon. We can run through the streets and I can hear their funny stories.
Just a little longer....................
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