The Wall: A parable

          Sometimes in life we have a wall in front of us. Sometimes that wall says to climb it and even though we are not really equipped to climb it we do it anyway and then on the other side of that wall may be a thorn bush or a deep hole or another, higher, wall. This may be a good thing at some times of our lives.....a challenge is great. But at times the greater challenge is to look at the wall and ask yourself the harder question: Is this worth it?
    Is it better sometimes to sit still and say NO to the challenge ahead of us? It may make us feel we are weak but I think that true strength comes from knowing when things are safe, and unsafe, for us and being strong is being able to sit with the truth that NOW is not the time for that wall. There will be time.
   I think part of the reason I want to break ALL The walls is that I fear I may not have time.But time comes and goes like wind. There might be all the time in the world or there may only be tomorrow left to us but I believe in acting as though my future is a definite and I need to preserve all that I have that is sacred to carry into that future.
   So then there are most definitely times I must look up to that wall and realize "It is not worth it." And remind myself there IS time....time for more challenges, more hills to climb, more leaps to make. It's not over until it's over. Whether I die tomorrow or 30 years from now time is relative. I can make the most of today and not worry about tomorrow and whether this or that will happen OR I can fret and push and shove my way through the wall willfully like a kid up past their bedtime who, even though they have school tomorrow and the pizza they are eating is going to make them sick all night, just pushes past it and decides "I don't care!" Then that night they do care. And the next day falling asleep in class and feeling awful then they do care.
   The grownup thing to do is sometimes the hardest. Walking away from that big wall and into a less challenging place for awhile can make a person feel they are being weak or scared or unwilling to make a sacrifice. But why sacrifice? Why make things worse by pushing and shoving towards a thing that is really, truly, un-doable for me right now.
   That doesn't make me weak. It makes me smart. I have nothing to prove. I never really did. I only fooled myself into being so hard on myself when all that it was was having fun in the woods with my friends not a life or death struggle to the finish. (though sometimes it may have felt that way here and there)  I have done many hard things and climbed plenty of tall, scary, walls and come out the victor. Whether middle of the pack or last place I have proven I can finish things. Therefore I am not a quitter. I am smart.