Thursday, January 23, 2014

Finding a mandala on the indoor track


     As I ran my laps around the indoor track today I discovered something. My friend said you can go to an inward spot when you are running track laps but I had not known it for myself. But today as I ran around the indoor track I found this peacefulness and inner calm. I felt like I was creating a mandala. I have always loved mandalas. They are beautiful, contemplative works of art. They are formed by, and for, peacefulness and stillness within and harmony with others and the world.
   What is a mandala but a circle? A circle of continuence. And a track?? circle also. I found a kind of detachment from my body as if it was doing it's own thing and my mind was kind of....floating...it was pleasant. As a runner, especially a trail runner, my place is outside but if you have to run indoors it is not a bad thing to find a little Zen in it.


 

Sunday, January 12, 2014

Tecumseh Marathon 2014


     The Tecumseh Marathon was scheduled for December however due to icy, pretty dicey conditions Brian called it off after much thought and deliberation. I know he probably thought of everything he could do but it just got to be too dangerous. The marathon was then rescheduled for January 11th.
  It had been a snow melt for a few of days due to warmer temps so the trails were going to be muddy I knew but I was relieved because the temperature was so deadly cold for a time I was definitely not going to do this if it was very cold so when it started to warm up I decided to proceed with the race. I had already been going through some inordinately strong pre-race jitters..hadn't slept much a couple of nights before because of worry so was already starting the run on lack of sleep and days of anxiety.
  The course is usually a straight run from one end of the trail to the other but due to the extreme sloppiness of the trails and trying to preserve as much of the trail as possible it had been shifted to an out and back run with 4 miles out to a 6 mile loop I had to run three times before heading back that 4 miles to the finish. I didn't know the route until that morning so I had no time to mentally prepare for it beforehand. I am usually the kind of person who really likes to do some mental/emotional preparation before a big race. I know some people like surprises. I do not when it comes to long races. I like to study the course, know what is going to happen ahead of time and come prepared for the big obstacles. Here I had had no preparation whatsoever.
   We started off running a little after 10. Almost the first thing we did was cross a waist-deep (for short me at least) water crossing of very cold water. Then we hit the trail. Oh my god was it muddy! I had been prepared for mud but this was Uber-mud! It was in places very deep, halfway up my shins and so was a big slog fest. I had started out with some people but ended up falling back pretty quickly. I already felt fat, slow and tired and still had so long to go. I was also fighting some negative feelings of sadness and worry that made it difficult to be alone with myself and I WAS alone. There were not even any other runners around me. I had lost my main friend and her group and was left slogging through the mud with all these feelings of self-doubt and depression. It was a fight internally as well as physically. Ben flew by at that point and said "good job Heather!". It was nice to see him. Boy he was moving!
  I almost quit on the first loop. I had never had such a keen desire to just walk off the trail and go back to the start and wait for my friends to finish. At that moment, perhaps a gift from God, I ran into a woman also going through this alone too. She heard me mutter "I want to quit" and she came up behind me and said "Why?" I just looked at her and said "It's just too hard today". So she pretty much pulled me out of this emotional muck and we started slogging together. It was so important and meaningful to have company right then and we talked each other through it. I felt so much gratitude to her and we hung together for two loops--total of 12 or 13 miles. As we started the third loop she said "Well no turning back now. There is nowhere else to go." And with that we started out. She ran into a friend partway through and started to make better time. I let her go because I knew she needed to get this done. It was her first marathon. I was proud of her.
   Then I was alone again but something was different this time. Even though my toes were freezing, I was so very tired and still felt extremely slow my sadness and anxiety had been given a boost. I also ran into a few nice people I started running alongside and so they helped too. Even just overhearing their laughter and conversation was nice because at least it wasn't just me against the trail anymore. I had started having GI trouble about the 2nd lap and it was getting worse. I tried not to think about my sore stomach and just keep going.The mud had become dangerously slippery on this loop after so many runners plowing down the trail already. There were more puddles and these little mini-falls of muddy water cascading down the trail. I fell once and wrenched my left knee pretty hard. I was fighting that pain and it caused me to get even slower. I did a long, slow fall on a mud slope leading down to a creek which was actually pretty funny. I just slid down the hill on my right side in the soft mud. The good thing about the mud was it was soft. It was like falling into a pillow. The people behind me asked if I was alright and I laughed and said "That is one way to get down a hill quickly!"
  I picked up a stick at one point to have as a helper on the muddy spots to keep myself upright. At the end of the last loop I discarded it and started down the road. I passed the "loop" sign and this time got to take a right into the "finish" trail. That was a HUGE deal for me because I knew I had already finished running  3 loops=18 miles + a 4 mile out to the last straightaway so I was now looking at 22 miles DONE! I kept moving and came to the pretty little pine forest I liked so much. That was very nice to smell the pine scent. There were lots of cold water crossings including going through the waist deep one I had done on the way out. I came to the flags marking the finish line, ran down and crossed the finish line at 6:45. I had finished my 5th marathon! Even though it had been a hard race in so many ways I was still so excited and happy to have finished it!
   Because my stomach problems I couldn't eat afterwards so I just grabbed a bag of food to take home. I came home, took a long bubble bath, got warm and was able to eat some before bed. By 7:30 pm I was out cold. Long, hard day--big accomplishment---DONE.
  
  

Wednesday, January 8, 2014

Test Run: Gear Hack Ideas for winter running





I had been thinking about some things to make Tecumseh easier and decided this evening I would go out and try out my ideas.  I hate getting my feet wet and my toes cold and it will be mushy, gloopy stuff out there so I was trying to think of how not to get my feet wet..or at least hold off the wet for as long as I could. I was in Krogers and wandering through the produce section when I looked around at all those little plastic produce bags.

LIGHT-BULB!

So I got a whole bunch of them and brought them home. I put on my sock and tied one around each foot.It was small enough it was not too much plastic and didn't affect my running at all. Bingo! Then I tested out another idea I had had where I could wear my little corduroy backpack. It is not heavy and I wasn't going to put a lot of stuff in it. The main problem was it would bounce around on my back and slip-slide around so I decided to try pinning it to my jacket so it would stay still. Then I packed it with some snacks, an extra pair of ice trekkers and some other little things I would have for the race so I could mimic the conditions the most. Then I went on a Gear Test Run!  It was great! The backpack stayed in place, my feet were dry and warm the whole way and I came home feeling even better about my winter race(s). 

Just throwing in some photography for no reason at all except for this was a pretty window inside that gazebo up there in the top picture. It was a lovely night for a run and not cold. I was so glad to get out of the house and active.



Saturday, January 4, 2014

Life is meant for flight: new challenges in the coming year

   

   If my blog readers know me (and I think you do) you will know I am never truly happy unless I have some large challenge coming up in my future. It has been that way now for years. It keeps me motivated not just to physical action but in taking care of myself emotionally and mentally. If I am not in the best shape I can be all around then I may not be able to meet those challenges head on with a strong heart, mind and body.
     I will admit it. I have become something of a training junkie. I love writing out training plans and posting them next to my exercise calender. I love having a piece of paper tell me how many miles to run that day or if I am supposed to cross-train or rest. I adore the feeling of accomplishment when I finish that long run I had scheduled or get in a good strength session. Having that feeling of the sword of damocles hanging over me as I prep for something new is exhilarating.
   Last year I did something life-changing. I went to a trail race down in Kansas with my great friend Christy Victor. We had a cool road trip and it was great fun camping too. I got to see the milky way, avoid scary spiders and, oh yeah, run an incredibly challenging trail.
   I finished that and thought "Wow that was really, really, really hard! Let's do it again next year!". The inner me tried desperately to refute this idea however it lost and I signed up again for 2014. But then not to be outdone I also signed up for my first 60K in March and my first 50 mile in April. I have a calender that is absolutely terrifying: 2 marathons (maybe 3), 3 ultramarathons, at least 4 half marathons and my old standby the DINO 15K trail series which is the only races I truly RACE. In  2012 I got 3rd place female overall. Last year I got 2nd place overall. This year I want to go for 1st place which means more hill trainings, interval workouts and less body fat so I can speed up those brown county hills past, hopefully, the 1st place winner of this year. I managed to get ahead of her in the final race last November but it was incredibly hard.
   But that is what I want. I didn't sign up for those races to be scared. I signed up for them to truly live life. My new motto for 2014: Life is not meant to be a fortress of safety but a stepping stone for flight into the unknown. This is what i tell myself every morning when I wake up and what I try to express to my clients: take risks, go for the scary stuff, leave the safe ground and rise up on shaky wings to fly to the stars. Don't let your life go by without scary moments of personal challenge. I want to be on my deathbed thinking of all the things I got to experience and all the hard stuff I was able to complete. This is not just in running either but all things. It is taking risks at my job learning new formats and teaching new classes. It is going after the social situations that are difficult for me. It is reaching out to others when I need help even though I am not very good at that. It is learning new things about myself and my world and implementing those things in my life. It is making sure when I lay my head down on my pillow that night I know I truly lived that day in the best, most authentic way possible.

I count my blessings and love my life and am going to rise up and fly.