Indiana Trail 100

The IT100 was an amazing race for me. I had been training for it for months and was nervous about it for a month before it. In my heart I thought for sure I could do it but in my head was worried I had not trained hard enough or done enough to finish. I arrived there early in the afternoon on Friday to set up camp and get my packet. Packet pickup was great because I got to see and spend time with some very good friends some of whom were running the race and some of whom were either pacing or volunteering their time to help us achieve our goals. 

   Mike and the others working on the race had worked very hard and the course did a wonderful job of prepping the trails for us. The roots were painted pink for us to see them better, there was hay on the ground in some of the more slippery places and pink flags everywhere so we could always see where we were going. Very well maintained and well marked.

    I had my little tent all set up and was feeling like it was pretty cozy. My friend had loaned me some things like sleeping bags and camp stove which I didn't end up using and I had all my things including my foam roller ready to go. 

   That morning I got up at dawn. It was hard to get up because the sleeping bag was so warm and toasty but finally I got up, got my gear and clothes ready and started out towards the starting line. As usual I was up to the last minute going to the bathroom and things and got to the starting line right as it started. A few race announcements from Mike and we were off on our day and night adventure.

  

   It wasn't raining when we started off. I had my headlamp on and we were hoping it would hold off for awhile. It started in around 8 or 9 I would say although I didn't have a watch with me (my garmin had already died the night before).
  I had brought my big orange rain poncho with me and stuffed it into the back of my hydration pack. It really came in handy! During the day I kept pulling it out to wear and then stuffing it back into my pack when the rain let up for awhile.
  The morning was chilly and I had woken up feeling a huge chill in the air so I put on everything basically I had to keep warm. A mile in I knew I had overdressed which is a bummer on a long trail run because then you need to tie your clothes around your waist or give up some clothing so you can run. I had to leave some clothing behind at an aid station.         

I ran the first loop pretty fast. I was taking run/walking breaks but when I walked it was speed walking. I was trying to save what I could for the later laps. I finished my first loop in 4:13 which was crazy fast for me. My second loop it has been 8:30 hours I had been running. I wasted probably too much time at some of the aid stations changing clothes, putting on my blister cream and such. I was actually told at one "Don't mean to kick you out but you have a time limit." I hurried and finished putting on my dry socks and then was off again. I had some gels and a little bit of food with me. I took in the gels for awhile but by the third lap they were making me feel nauseous.

I was so amazed by all the attentiveness of the aid station volunteers. Every time I came into one they were saying "what can I get you? Do you need your pack refilled? Want some of this or that?" And wow did they have some good food! Perogies and soup, jelly beans and pretzels. At one they gave me some pickle juice to drink. That may seem weird but the sodium in it is really helpful. I had been taking my Endurolytes so was not too bad on sodium but every little thing counts when you are going a long distance.
   I ran into so many nice people also on the trail. I ran with Charles Momon for awhile which was nice. I met people and heard their stories as we ran along. I hopscotched people as you do and so got to visit the same faces and check in with them regularly.
   The Indiana Trail Runner tent was wonderful! They had a fire, some delicious potato soup and my friends Erin and Chris who were so attentive to me when I came in from my loops. They just said "Tell us what you need and we will do it for you. We are here to take care of you."  That made me feel so good!
  I was not able to eat for awhile but then tried the magic of Gin Gins at one of the aid stations courtesy of my friend Alicia. She said it would calm my stomach and I could eat for awhile. She also told me to change clothes next time I came around the start/finish line. I did as I was told and felt much warmer. I hadn't realized even with the poncho I was still getting very wet and it would soon be getting later and colder. The mud was really hard to deal with. At times it was the shoe sucking mud which made it hard to get through and then there were sections which were really slippery and you had to be on the top of your game to keep from sliding right down the gully next to you or just sliding down into the mud. I couldn't believe i only fell one time during the entire race! But Mike and the volunteers had very nicely put hay down on some of the more slippery parts which was a much needed, and welcome, addition.
   The night fell. I grabbed my first pacer Keith and we were off for the fourth loop. By now I had finished my first 50 miles. The wet and mud were really bad and I had taught myself the art of "Mud Skiing" which was sliding down the muddy slopes as though I was skiing through snow. It helped me with a little speed and also was easier than trying to inch my way down. Kieth and I had some great conversations and it was nice to make a new friend. He helped me a lot. Also before we left the ITR tent my friend Erin had given me some jelly beans to eat. My favorite!
   I put on my headlamp and then on the fifth loop I picked up my second pacer Alicia. She was great! She got me moving and kept me moving even when I was hurting and would probably have slowed down more on my own.She went ahead of me so I had someone to follow and would say to me "Can you do a little surge and catch up to me?". And lo and behold I was able to do that! When I was getting tired and forgetful she would remind me I needed to eat or drink something. She kept me busy with conversation and made me laugh so hard at some of her comments. I learned some great pacer strategies in case i ever want to try to pace someone myself.
   When I came up to meet Alicia I was happily surprised to find my friend Ashley waiting for me to cheer me on and give me a big hug. It was so great of her to come out in the middle of the night (!!!) to see me. The aid stations were now getting some amazingly good food and I tried to eat more than at that point I wanted to so I could keep up with my calorie use and making sure to drink enough so I could remain hydrated.
   The night wore on and I was starting to have the fabled hallucinations people had spoken of on some of the facebook groups. At one point I was sure I was either seeing the space station up in the sky or a UFO. I also thought at one point the grass on either side of the trail looked like snow because it looked so white to me in my headlamp. Besides that I thought I was keeping my wits about me pretty well. I felt focused most of the time....only getting quiet or spacing out a little when I got too tired to think of anything to say.
   I finished the loop and the morning came. I had been having some problems on the fifth loop with my right shin and my right knee. For some reason everything on my right side was having problems. It was probably because I was using that leg to be my pushing leg and it got a lot more work. The morning was beautiful. I was so tired by that time though I was just trying to get through that last loop. I felt in pain a lot and felt I was going so slowly. It seemed to take forever to get through certain spots and I was certainly tired of mud!
   As I came into one of the spots on the trail leading up to the schoolhouse for the last time the course sweeper, Jerry, found me and stayed with me. He reminded me, as Alicia had, to keep moving. I wanted that buckle so kept going not stopping much at aid stations, pushing myself to run even though I was hurting. My right knee was feeling it especially on the downhills but I found something in myself to hit 12-14 minute miles in the last couple of miles to try to reach the finish in time. Jerry would say "Good form, nice arm motion, good breathing, you can do this. Push a little harder. You want that buckle!" I did push myself and we came around the corner leading to the beach.
  At this point a wonderful lady came bursting out of nowhere to rush me on to the finish. She told me to breathe, concentrate and led me all the way up to the start/finish. Once again....I was awed by how great the people were I came in contact with! I ran up the finish line with my buddy Mory there to run the last bit with me. As I passed the finish line I collapsed in her arms and wept.It had been such an emotional race for me and the last lap trying to beat my time had been the most emotional part. I was feeling so tired but grateful for all the help during the race and towards the end and was happy it was time I could actually sit down soon! I was overcome by emotion. I met several people who were teary about my finish and told me how I was an inspiration to them. Terry and Debi gave me a nice ITR shirt for a reward for sticking with it. I got to talk to Mike and he told me it didn't matter if I had a buckle or not I had done it!
  

Here I am running down the home stretch to the finish line with Mory. I was still trying to beat that clock but by now knew I was just a minute late. Though in some ways that made me a little frustrated with myself (saying to myself if I hadn't spent so much time here or there or had pushed myself a little harder I could have....." but realized that I had run 100 miles and it was a crazy wonderful accomplishment for someone who just a few years ago couldn't run around the block!

 Just ONE pair of shoes from the race. Look at all that mud! I had to change shoes once because of mud and soon after these started to look exactly the same.

So I finished my 100 miler! I was proud of myself. I thought then though I would not want to try a 100 mile race again. Today, though, I am looking at races. (Isn't that always the way?) 

DO those with mental illness run Ultras??

  

 Do those with mental illness run Ultras?

   I have been researching online whether those with serious mental illness participate in Ultramarathons. I have found no mention beyond that exercise is good for depression (which it IS) but not about mental illness and ultrarunning combined. 

    Is this something that isn't done for some reason or another?? Or is there just no good documentation surrounding it? I would say with all my online research it seems as though there is no precedence for this. I would love to be proven wrong and have someone quote me some article or something but so far I have found zero about it. 
   I know that those with mental illness run endurance events. Yet how is there no research on how this affects their mental state especially in an endurance event such as a 100 mile run in which you are required to remain somewhat alert and functioning for sometimes over 26 hours at a time. This may be difficult for someone with a mental illness to complete. I say "difficult" and not "Impossible" because I know whether or not it is broadcast there are those who DO accomplish it. 
   The problems I can see with this are pretty basic to those with any kind of illness: Medication and side effects from medication making it difficult. Much of the medication prescribed to those with mental illness is sedating. That is done on purpose really to keep not only the symptoms but also the anxiety at a lower level plus help with sleep. The problem is that many of those with mental illness need sleep meds to feel restful or medications they take at night that are 24 hour lasting to see them through the next day of symptoms. So the issue is one of medication compliance in view of having to spend the night awake and alert the sleeping medication cannot be taken during the event. 
   That brings us to the medication that is extended release so it is taken at night but lasts throughout the next day to alleviate symptoms. If the meds are not taken the night before the person may be liable to be more symptomatic the day after on top of being exhausted from the exertion of the run. The timing of morning medication, should that be an issue, is also a factor. These things can be done. A night of missing medication usually is not going to ruin someone's mental health. The night following you can just pick up where you left off and go from there. The morning medication can be taken at the near end of the race that following morning. 
   Another thing to consider is fatigue and how that can play havoc with someone's mental state who is not diagnosed with anything and how that is multiplied in those with mental/emotional problems. When fatigued the mind is not able to stay as sharp even in healthy people and so can lead to strange thoughts, even hallucinations, during an all day and all night event. While this may not completely unhinge those who have not had these problems before it can be seriously worrisome to those that suffer from these problems already.        
       Fatigue can make the mind do funny things. And on top of not having the medication in their system to calm themselves it may lead to an episode. I believe the pacers must be made aware, especially those pacing at night, that the runner has a medical problem which may lead to an exaggerated affect different from those without those problems. That way the pacer can be prepared should the runner begin to suffer in some way different from the usual ultrarunner fatigue-related "events" during the night.
   That being said this doesn't mean those with mental illnesses cannot run these events but just need to be aware themselves, and make crew and pacers aware, that they may need extra help during the race. And pacers need not fear of any harm to themselves or that the person will go completely haywire on them. Obviously the runner has done much training and many long runs and know themselves and how they react to the circumstances and if they are able to handle any and all symptoms which may occur. 
    It is frustrating, though, not to find mention of it or any advice for the runner on if there are special things to be aware of on the long, long haul of a 100 miler. I guess the best thing is to be as prepared as any other runner, to remember that you have trained for this and to make sure you keep a positive mental attitude that even though this is by no means a common thing according to The Internet it is not an impossible thing. 
   To end on a good note: Those with mental health issues may be more suited to some of the extra hardships during the night. If you look at it from the perspective that they have been through worse times and have learned how to alleviate their symptoms they might be at an advantage when the mind gets tired and begins being "inventive". They may have tools that those who have not had this illness do not such as mental strategies, mindfulness training and experience "ignoring" the strangeness which might go on.

Taper crazies: 100 times more crazy for a 100 miles

I have what is known in distance runner's circles as "the taper crazies" This is when you have trained for months and months running crazy long runs, late night runs, practicing for the big race and then a couple of weeks or so before it have to slow down/stop your training. When you have spent most of the last 5 months training for a big race like a 100 mile then when you are NOT training is when the crazies come out. Suddenly you have too much time on your hands. You start to look around your house and start to see problems that you didn't see before. You line and organize the kitchen drawers, go back and forth on your race plans, think seriously about faking a big sick day to get out of it, scour the weather channel as the days get closer;make lists of things you need for your drop bags then throw those lists away and make new lists. 
    You scour things online to see if you have missed anything in your training, you start to doubt if you have done enough. It is the time of internet creeping of Ultra pages and "how to run 100's" pages and seeing all the things you could have done better and differently. It is a time when worrying is an everyday occurance and feeling like you have made a grave mistake in judgement sits there in your face. 
   You try to find things to fill the time, getting your gear squared away, making travel arrangements, writing blogs about your cats, anything to get your mind away from the fact that in two weeks time you will be lining up at the starting line of a race that can take anywhere from 24 hours (RIGHT!) to 30 hours. You realize you will be running at night when you are tired, running when hungry and probably dealing with very dark "Nights of the Soul" while you are out there. It is inevitable that you will go through several thousand emotions in that amount of time. Heck I do that sometimes on an ordinary day!
   I got some Stephen King books from the library today. I like Stephen King. He is easy to read and I don't have to think much. I can dive into a story and forget stuff for a bit. Even though I am having trouble eating much at least I can read. I do force myself to eat because the muscles need it but food is some days the last thing on my mind right now. 

The only thing to do is muddle through the next two weeks, line up at that starting line and hope for the best. I have friends who will be there with me. I have the training behind me. I have the most interesting, hardest, amazing thing I will ever do in front of me. I just have to stay the course. 

And perhaps organize the hall closet.